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|Wednesday, July 28th, 2004|
|sick of being sick
Sure hope the humidity of Seattle cures the damned sinus thing I keep getting. Right now, the underside of my nose is so red, sore and crusty, I'm thinking of putting some Vaseline on it at bedtime. Went to the doctor on Friday and was pronounced ear-infected and with bronchitis.
The plumber who came yesterday to unplug the washing machine drain (One should always THROW AWAY) those throw rugs that start falling apart!!!--it's much cheaper that way!!) told me the last time he sounded like me he had bronchial pneumonia.
Yes, I managed to unsuction myself from the bed on Saturday to do the laundry which was heaped in the bathtub for my convenience. A good part of this laundry included Andy's clothes he barfed on, while in my new car (and some got on the car seat--he hasn't cleaned up yet--so, it's sitting in the 110 degree heat infusing a delightful, homey aroma). Imagine my utter joy when the washing machine water started pooling in the hallway during the spin cycle!!
Sure hope I'm feeling better when Brennx0r comes to visit on Friday!! Although, right now, I have stopped smoking again, and it would be nice to convince her to do the same!! Current Mood: tired
|Wednesday, July 7th, 2004|
What do you think constitutes "love" (A) vs. "being in love" (B)?
1. If you think about the person all the time?
2. If you daydream about making out & noodling with the person?
3. If you feel protective about the person?
4. If you feel hurt after the slightest slight from the person?
5. If you know there is no future with the person, but you still can't stop thinking about them?
6. If you try to impress the person all the time?
7. If you know you would do anything for the person (and you know the feeling is mutual?)
8. If the person leaves for more than a couple of weeks, you go into a depression?
9. If you feel a lot of sexual tension between the two of you?
10. If the person tries to impress you all the time?
11. If you value the other person's opinion about stuff, and vice-versa.
12. If you feel jealous when the other person is paying attention to someone else? Current Mood: mischievous
|Thursday, July 1st, 2004|
Here it is Thursday night--day five of Andy's new job. When I get home, he's gone. He gets home just as I'm about to go to bed. Hella lonely.
Feliz came over yesterday afternoon and chilled with us. I got out of work early because our building was evacuated due to a fire in the air conditioning system. So, saw Andy for about 30 minutes then he had to leave. Felizzle stayed for a while though, then came back at about 8. We watched "Reality Bites"--new on dvd. What a perfect movie! Love the sexual tension!
|Friday, June 25th, 2004|
|auspicious day approachs....
THE ACTUAL DAY IS EXACTLY ONE WEEK FROM TODAY! One must plan ahead! Any hints out there as to what Brennx0r would like for her birthday?
|Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004|
Phone call rejected by Brennx0r. Hmmmm....& grandma just coming back from a trip there.......hmmmmm Current Mood: confused
|Monday, May 31st, 2004|
I feel just like Ricky in American Beauty, in that things around me are just so beautiful, sometimes I feel like I can't take it anymore. But I love taking it, my daily dose of life.
We just got back from dinner at Olive Garden and movie --"Troy". Brad Pitt is hot. Period. I heard the men went commando for the film, so it was kind of fun to catch a peek. hehe.
Andy got me a "French field easel" for my birthday. It's really pimp--has a box which slides toward the front, in which you can put all your paint tubes,so it becomes a shelf for your palette, and the legs telescope. The legs fold up into the box bottom and snap in, and the box has a handle, so you can carry it around, like an attache case. I want to do a portrait of Andy, if he will sit for me. It's getting hot though. Not too good for sitting outside for extended periods of time. Had to put the a/c on tonight. Must have been at least 95 inside the house when we got home at 8:30 pm.
I would love to do a portrait of Feliznizzle too. He's got such a beautiful face. He's such a nice person too. Did I tell you how he came outside to sit with me last weekend? Must muster the crust to ask him. I'll see how Andy's turns out first. I also want to do some more imaginary landscapes too. Seeing some outstanding color trips lately--must be the baking process. The moon is waxing & the color outside last night was surreal blue. The wall was pink/orange and shadows of the poles from the patio cover were light blue on the walls. The lawn was frosty thalo, with pine green shadows under the trees. I love being outside. Too bad I missed it all those years I wasn't smoking.
I was nervous all weekend, expecting that Brenna was sending a chippendale to strip for me.
Well, must get back to free cell before Andy & Feliz get back from J's. Current Mood: happy
|Friday, May 7th, 2004|
shoveling shit at thoroughbred/standardbred horse stable
cleaning apartment for sloppy bachelor
working for parents for free babysitting, cooking and cleaning
shipping clerk at Spiegel Catalog store
clerk at Sun Shipbuilding Co.
secretary at Canadian Pacific Bermuda Ltd.
controller's secretary at Princess Hotel in Bermuda
research asst. at tree-ring lab at UA
chief engineer's secretary at Loews Bermuda Beach Hotel
technical clerk at Meyer's Marine Repair Shop in Bermuda
ecs at NV State Welfare Current Mood: energetic
|Wednesday, February 25th, 2004|
|Busy weekend ahead!
In my efforts to make some contacts for Felizzle for Friday with talent agents, I phoned a new one who asked if Andy & Feliz would be interested in a modeling photo shoot for a magazine! He gave me the phone no. for these people in Tennessee who will be here this weekend taking the photos. They asked me to email them A & F's pix and they want them!! So, without even leaving the house, I got Feliz his first professional modeling job! We have to meet them on Friday night at the MGM, so they can give us the details about the photo shoot. It's for a new magazine called "Teen Boyz For Girlz". It's like hunky teen doods teenage girls can drool over. There's a contest in every issue for girls to write in and vote for their fave.
In the a.m. on Friday (I have the day off), I'm taking Felizzle to Baskow, Wild Streak, and maybe a couple others to register for acting jobs. Then on Saturday, there's the photo shoot. I was going to take them to see "Butterfly Effect" and go somewhere for dins. Then on Sunday morning, we're all invited out to breakfast with Grandmom because Veese and her fiance will be here for a visit. Grandmom wants us to take Veese & Jeremy out to Red Rock to hike around, but the boys say they don't want to do this. Then we're all invited to lasagna dinner at Grandmom's on Sunday night.
It's going to be a hella short weekend!
|Sunday, February 22nd, 2004|
|Another weekend update
Here it is Sunday again and work tomorrow. It's raining like Seattle outside and supposed to rain all week! My paperwhites are blooming--a nice addition to the coffee/smoking area out back. Not much happening. Plan to do my taxes today and sew Andy's jeans. He ripped the whole crotch out of his favorite stretch jeans. Last weekend I bought him a pair of Levi's 501's, but they're too long, so we're going to cut off some and hem.
Andy bought SSX3 for his PS2 with part of his tax refund. He and Feliz were playing it all Friday night and last night. Feliz had to beg his mother to stay over last night, then leave early to go home. She's such an unreasonable person. She still doesn't have him enrolled in school, although she went out and bought a new SUV and blew a couple of hundred dollars gambling. I'm taking a day of annual on Friday and taking Feliz around to the talent agencies in town to register. They're looking for a performer at the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton. That would be a cool job for Andy--my son is a Vulcan, or Klingon.
Jason showed up again yesterday--again unannounced and with his PS2. I guess he thinks he can just come over here and hang out, all the while bumming cigarettes, food and sodas and sitting in my chair! Bobby showed up early and asked Andy to skate with him, Steve, & Kevin at the mall. They were leaving in 5 minutes to catch the bus. Poor Feliz was thinking that there wasn't time for him to go home and get his board, so I told the boys I would drive them. Just as we were leaving to go, Jason shows up at the front door, wanting to skate. So, off we went with Steve, Bobby, Kevin, Andy and Jason in the back, Feliz in the front with me. They were squished like sardines back there. Andy kept saying there's not enough room for five people in the back, but Jason came along anyway. Andy said he really annoyed him all day, trying to bum cigarettes, etc. Feliz' mother picked them up and drove them back, and I guess because of this, she expected Feliz to come home, so he left with her and came back at around 8:30, saying he could only stay until 10 pm.
Have to go out today and get some good windsheild wiper blades.
|Monday, February 16th, 2004|
|Really good weekend!
Monday night, boo--work tomorrow. Just had a really good weekend starting off hanging out with my two favorite guys, Andyx0r and Feliz0r on Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night. We watched movies, mug of drunk, a little smoking, they played PS2, we all played Zuma. Everything is back to normal and I feel so joyous I could bust. Don't know what the problem was but it's gone. No mention, or hardly, of Jason.
By the way, he (Jason) had the audacity to get dropped off in front of our house on Saturday at 6 pm--dinner time. Saw him getting dropped off. He lives now over near Sigfried & Roy's--awfully presumptuous on his part, I thought. He didn't call ahead or anything. Luckily, when he arrived, Andy and Feliz were out bowling with Feliz' mother. I knew he was a mooch. He must have pulled the same thing over at Feliz' house, because without saying anything about that to Feliz, he had the same opinion.
Feliz is such a honey. He said he's going to dig up the veggie garden plot for me for free this week. I took he and Andy to the mall to apply for jobs, but alas, all the places said one has to be at least 16 to work there. They may still have a chance at United Artists theater. There's so many people out of work now that grownups are applying for the jobs traditionally held by teenagers. The guy at Industrial in the mall said that they would have a good chance there if they come in all the time and chat with the manager.
Was going to take Feliz to a couple talent agents in town today to have him register with them and drop off his headshot, but Andy wanted to go skating, so I drove Andy, Feliz and Steve to the mall, then to Western HS. Steve got Andy on film nollying the 6-stair at Western. I was thinking that the talent agencies would be closed today for President's Day anyway. So, this gives me an opportunity to take a day of annual to go to the agencies with Feliz. Current Mood: loved
|Tuesday, February 10th, 2004|
Went to work today and right away the phone calls started coming in as regular as a bran-eating adolescent on speed. While interviewing my second client of the day, the air conditioning pops on--the stadium-size air vent directly above my desk--and stayed on for over an hour. Went outside for a ciggie break at about 10:30 am and the 30 degree wind-chill factored air actually felt warmer.
So, then I get home and Feliz is here with Andy. I ask Andy if he wants some leftover pastitio for dinner--and he starts raving about how I could make it every night. Then I asked Feliz if he wants some, he shakes his head no. Andy says, "man, you ought to try some, it's hellagood." Feliz shakes his head again. So, Andy and I are sitting there eating, while Feliz is playing on the PS2 and the doorbell rings--Feliz gets up to answer it--it's Jason and Feliz lets him in. He sits down on the futon while Feliz continues playing PS2. Then, I hear Jason ask Feliz if he has any cigarettes, can he bum one. I make a mental note to tell Feliz I'm going to stop giving him cigarettes if he keeps giving them out to bummers. So, they go out back to smoke. I get my coat on and go out there too to have a cig. Everything is cordial. Andy comes out and they talk about their plans for the night.
Last night, Andy stayed over at Feliz' house. They came back here at about 7:30 to pick a few things, with Feliz' mother in the car and she told them to hurry up because she had to pee. Andy was going around gathering up his PS2 shit and taking a long time with controllers, etc., so I told Feliz to go tell his mother to come inside and relieve herself. So, she came in, half-looped, and started talking and talking and talking. I noticed that while here, Feliz felt it necessary to go over to her and hug her and he even sat on her lap once. She was talking about how they don't have the money to get Feliz enrolled in school (she's been telling him that, but I know she's been collecting child support--I looked it up in work). Also, she went out last week and bought a new DVD player. But she can't pay to enroll him in school.
So, tonight as soon as I got home, Andy asks me if he can spend the night over at Feliz' again. I asked if everyone over there would be okay with that (meaning Feliz' stepfather), and the subject kind of got dropped. After Jason was here, they brought up the subject again, then Feliz says, "Andy, how about me and Jason spending the night here?" I give Andy a sideways glance because of what happened last Friday night (and Feliz knew full well about my feelings on this), so Andy says back "only one person can stay over". So Feliz and Jason end up leaving together!! Probably Jason is spending the night at Feliz' house instead of Andy!! Andy said that they both had money and were going over to Jeremy's to get some blunts, too, and he was pissed that they were leaving him out.
I think Feliz' mother has been talking me down to him, the way she acted last night, and the way he acted, sitting on her lap, etc. If he knew how she's been lying to him about not having any money for him......The whole think pisses me off.
Now he's dissing Andy! I feel like gathering up all his stuff over here and depositing it in his front yard. Current Mood: pissed off
|Monday, February 9th, 2004|
Took today off work--was feeling ssslllooooooww--thyroid down. They would never understand that at work, though. Found the missing medical expense worksheet I've been looking high and low for, whew! Now can successfully refile last year's taxes and get more of a refund! I might even refile 2001 taxes. Those bastards! They wrote to me and told me that they computed my taxes higher than I did, but I always use cents, which add up. So, I figured more in deductions off my gross than they did, rounding, which put me in a higher tax bracket. Time to call them on it.
Today was a really nice day off with Andy. He got up fairly early. Feliz was here overnight, too and got up and had coffee with me, but then had to run because his mother called him. His sister fell and had to be taken to hospital for stitches in her chin. Andy was asleep briefly after Feliz left, so I drew him sleeping. Then the eye opens, looking angry, disturbed. He like the drawing, though. Then we had coffee talk. It was fairly nice out back--in low 60's and the crocuses are blooming! Took some pics, which I will try to send to Brennx0r.
Andy did his schoolwork, writing a paper on his ATF class, about the cigarette industry which had to do with the movie "The Insider." I bought ZUMA and love it! I'm on level 2-6 now. Feliz came in a little while ago, skateboarding with Andy and played some. He's really good at it. The boys went off to get burgers. All is well. Current Mood: mellow
|Thursday, January 29th, 2004|
|spoke too soon
Yes! It appears all is well with Feliz. He's back to normal again. He was over here this evening, called me "Mom" and I even got a hug. Andy said he was back to his old self again today with him too.
I finally took off from work on Tuesday afternoon for a couple of hours and came home and planted all the bedding plants. Kind of ticked off at Feliz for not finishing the job I paid him for. I did give him another job to do--digging up the veggie garden area & I'm not going to pay him until the job is done. He's done some work on it already.
He's been acting strangely lately--not as friendly--cool almost. No greeting hello or goodbye, no hugs. Andy has sensed this also, he tells me. Maybe Feliz got lectured by his mother to spend more time with his family. Maybe since we told him we'll wait for him to be able to come to Seattle with us, he's having second thoughts, or since he knows he can go for sure, he IS spending more time with his family. I don't know. Andy says he outright dissed him in front of some other kid yesterday. Andy was pissed and started saying he doesn't want any friends anymore. Andy wants to be a recluse. This is definitely not good. Andy's not home now--maybe he's out skating with Feliz.
Then, to top it off, Grandmom comes over here the other day and started in with Andy, saying that she's worried that there's something going on with me & Feliz! Andy told her she's a worry wart, has nothing to worry about, and even if it were true it would be none of her business. Yea, Andy. It's going to be very difficult with her--she would like to come over here every Sunday and we both couldn't stand that. When you think about it, if the roles were reversed, she'd treat me like I had a hell of a nerve if I acted like she does, coming here on Sunday, one of the only two days I can get anything done. She strolls in here and wants to get waited on, wants our undivided attention listening to her (boring) stories about the "board" she belongs to. Meanwhile, I'm trying to clean, fold laundry, etc. I just can't start any project like painting the baseboards if she's here--she'd follow me around from room to room. AND, she has to tell me how I should handle Andy, with his school, etc. I really am getting tired of all this. Especially since I know her stance on leaving Brennx0r down on the Strip that night.
Hooked lately on spider solitaire. Current Mood: bitchy
|Sunday, January 18th, 2004|
|Worry for Feliz
It looks like history may repeat itself with Feliz. He had permission to stay over Friday night--he was out skating with Andy earlier in the evening, then when they came back here, it seemed Feliz was in a terrible funk. Beginning to think he is bipolar--when he gets low, it's WAY down there. Come to find out that even though his mother gave him the okay to be here, she went ahead and made a deal with her neighbor that Feliz would leave with him at 6 am Sat. morning to help him move his office. The neighbor was paying $20 for all day. Fleezle couldn't get in contact with him (the neighbor), so he stayed here, had a shitty time, going to sleep early, all depressed, & I got him up at 5:30. He went over to the neighbor's, who had left already, so he came back here.
I had paid Feliz $20, in advance of Friday night, to help me with the garden. He needed to finish digging & weeding the little garden --only about 2 feet left. He did a beautiful job with the long garden by the patio--he's been doing a little at a time all week. He and I went out yesterday to pick out bedding plants and I got some--calendulas, pansies, snapdragons, & stock. We were going to put them in the ground yesterday afternoon. He told me it was okay for him to stay over again Saturday night. He said he got permission to be here all weekend, because it's his birthday on Wednesday, and because it's MLK holiday on Monday. Then OUR neighbor, Ernesto, comes to the door and asks Andy to go to Bunker skatepark with him. I said, ok, we can do the garden on Sunday instead. Feliz had to go back to his house to get his board. We sat in the car in front of his house for about twenty minutes, waiting for him to come out.
He was getting lectured by his mother and stepfather (probably who had been sitting around drinking) because he didn't go to do the job with the neighbor--about responsibility. Now he's grounded for days. I thought, what about his responsibility to me, to finish the job I gave him, prior to the neighbor job? I guess his mother thinks that's ok.
Andy and I are just like limp noodles. A day without Feliz is like a day without eating. I was going to say sunshine, but you don't have much sun in Seattle, so that would be a poor analogy. We miss him so bad, but also feel bad for him, having to put up with his parents, and the situation he's in for another year, when he turns 16. I know he's going to run away again. His mother doesn't seem to get it, that if you have such a short leash, you'll want to escape. They treat him like a servant--that he should be there at their beck & call in case something needs doing. They still didn't enroll him in the homeschool, like they promised him. He's been out of school for about two months now. They probably gambled away the tuition money. I'm worried what will happen with him when we leave.
|Friday, January 16th, 2004|
|Beware of men in brown uniforms!
Got an email in work today from the head security honcho in Carson City--and this came down from Homeland Security--to watch out for UPS guys. Apparently, there was heavy action on ebay for UPS uniforms--$32,000 worth of UPS uniforms were sold recently. Terrorists are going to arrive disguised as UPS delivery men now! Current Mood: giddy
|Thursday, January 15th, 2004|
Still in a funk about the moving process. The way I see it, I will have to either just leave and try to get a job when I get there, or end up spending a lot of money travelling back and forth for interviews, which will eat up my moving expenses in no time. Unless I can get mucho dinero for the house which I will obviously try to do first. But then moving in with Grandmom or renting while waiting for a job to come thru will be hell. I'll also have to rent a storage place. Neither one is a very appealing choice.
If I get the same kind of job I have now, which they would probably hire me for right away, it may not be in Seattle. May have to live in Lacey or some other forsaken place until a position opens up in Seattle. I will have a pension from the state of NV, but I know it'll be small. I definitely don't want to get the same kind of job I have now if it's the same high caseload and pace. I have to take a Xanax-a-day now just to cope. Don't want to get into the same situation. Just want to live simply and happily. The problem with not getting the same position as I have now, is that most places wouldn't hire a fossil like me, who doesn't have loads of business-type computer experience, like spreadsheets and Excel, etc.
There's a couple of people in work who are interested in the house--one to rent out and the other to live in. If they would actually buy it, then we wouldn't have to put up with people traipsing thru looking at it all the time. That would be good. I wouldn't really mind living say, in the Budget Suites, except for fear that the meth lab next door could blow at any time.
The other problem is Andy & Feliz. Finally, Andy has a really good friend and isn't bored all the time. Feliz says that he will come up to Seattle when he turns 16 (but that's a year from now) and gets emancipated. I can easily see that he might leave earlier than that, then his mother would accuse us of taking her son over state lines.
Anyway, just some thoughts on the moving process. Current Mood: stressed
|Monday, January 5th, 2004|
Just looked online at state job listings--two possibilities which sound right up my alley, but pay less than I make now, both say "to fill vacancies as they occur in Spokane, Wenatchee, Yakima, Kennewick, Everett, Seattle, Tacoma and Fife, Olympia and Lacey and Vancouver" There was a Federal job also for a recreation assistant at Moses Lake-?? which pays pretty well. Methinks I'll have to apply and get some sort of temp job there until something opens up in Seattle doing what I have experience in (and can get paid the most for). Also, the Best Western Hotel on Yessler Ave. has a number of openings--night auditor for one!!
|Saturday, January 3rd, 2004|
|Boo! Holidays over!
It was such a nice Christmas! Having Brennx0r home was, of course, the ultimate Christmas present, although again, the visit went so quick. Can't wait to move to Seattle and meet everybody there. Christmas mug of drunk was fun. And so was going to see ROTK.
Today, I woke w/gargantua headache, after night of smoking up w/the boys--a belated Xmas present from Andy. He got another SAG check yesterday. I was right back there in the 70's, the only bummer being remembering the itchy skin and paranoia which comes from mj. Tried to remedy the paranoia w/Amaretto sour--yum! Skateboarding videos kick ass! The guys who make them must be serious stoners--Andy had borrowed Sorry II. After that we watched "Amalie". Andy was a crackup, doing Bush impersonations all night.
He and Feliz0r are up at Lee Canyon today snowboarding. Feliz will probably be moving to Summerlin soon, staying with his aunt, because his mother and stepfather split up yesterday. His mom actually left a note on our door, telling him to stay with Andy. I guess it was a bad scene. Feliz said Captain Kirk better not rip up his silk sheets. We probably won't be seeing much of Fleecie unless he skateboards down here.
Off to do shopping mission. Current Mood: enervated
|Saturday, November 29th, 2003|
|Yea for Four Day Weekends!
T-day was hum-drum. Made the usual turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, orange-cranberry relish, corn cut off the cob and also served the leftover bourbon-orange yams. Just me, Andy and grandmom. Feliz was not allowed to come over. Sure wish Brennx0r could have been here! Yesterday, though, was a good day--Andy, Feliz and I went to breakfast at Denny's, then off to the Guggenheim/Hermitage art show at the Venetian. Wish Brenn could have been with us. Saw a couple of Picassos, Kandinsky's and Cezannes, then one each of Monet, Manet, Braque, Marc, Modigliani, Van Gogh, Gauguin, Chagall, Leger, Pollock, Rothko, Miro, Renoir, Delauney, Motherwell--it was great. We all got into the need-to-paint mode. I'm going to try to scan the slides I have of my paintings & blow them up to print. Going to Aaron Bros. today to get some drawing paper & maybe some pastels.
After the art show we took off to the Texas where we saw Matrix Revolutions. Liked it better than the second one.
Andy promised me if I took him to see that, he would go to "Masturbating Commander" (what we call it) with me. Feliz went home this morning & took the cricket I found to feed his tarantula. Andy thinks he's getting sick. Bad flu going around. We'll be getting him some new bearings today too.
One big surprise yesterday. I awoke to the sound of chain saws. Went out back and saw that Jorge had guys there taking down the cottonwood tree! I was so nervous that a limb would fall on the pool and 16,000 gallons of water would tidal-wave over the yard. Not so...all the limbs fell in Jorge's yard. Now it's so bright out there now. Had a weird dream this morning about a shark advising me of some kind of trouble I'm going to get into. The shark was a flat grey rubber thing that opened its mouth like a bellows. Well, better get off shopping! Current Mood: tired